William McGonagall is Well Remembered in The Pans for 'Topaz'

Centenary Plans for The Prestoungrange Gothenburg in 2008 are taking on Dubious Shape...

Word has just been received from the spectre of William Topaz McGonagall that he intends to visit The Pans every 100 Days during the 100th Year of the Life of The Prestoungrange Gothenburg in Prestonpans [formerly The Trust Tavern]. In fact he was seemingly at Prestongrange Church on June 8th last.

Any who can assist with his detection or 'Pen Worse Poetry than He' should be in touch with The Poet Laureate at The Prestoungrange Gothenburg asap on 01875 819922.

A POETIC GEM TO CELEBRATE THE INNOVATIVE GLORY OF THE BATTLE OF POTS AND PANS FOUGHT UPON 8th JUNE 2007 AND VICTORIOUSLY CELEBRATED THEREAFTER AT THE PRESTOUNGRANGE GOTHENBURG …

INCORRECTLY ATTRIBUTED TO SIR WILLIAM ‘TOPAZ’ McGONAGALL KNIGHT OF THE ORDER OF THE WHITE ELEPHANT AND POET LAUREATE TO THE KINGS OF BURMA COCKENZIE-POWERHOUS PASS-THE-SETON PRESTON-OVER-THE-SHOULDER GIFFORD ET CETERA AND ALL THE FEUDAL BARONS THEREABOUTS ...

T’was on June 8th 2007 when something very strange
Was instigated in Prestonpans by the feudal Courts of Prestoungrange
When a Battle was fought in Prestongrange Church
To commemorate 2678 redcoats - who got left in the lurch
In a field where barley was cultivated
But also sometimes oats and kale which crops were more highly rated -
Who were attacked in a rage by too many Highland clans
And slaughtered about 329 of them almost to a man

The Highlanders were fighting for the Jacobite Usurper
Who had urged them that day to commit fell murder
[Against the troops of George whom for us God preserve
Although he spoke little but German and the Usurper spoke French]
And to reestablish the deposed James and some Papism
Under whom no man right in his head would ever serve -
So being well wise the feudal Courts to neither side did swerve
Yet equivocally gave the local hero Colonel James Gardiner
The posthumous accolade he did most righteously deserve

Which his absent grieving wife Lady Frances also immediately did
With an aching Lament sung with tears in her voice barely hid
But it was over 100 years before the town’s Victorian fathers or mothers dare risk
The Highlanders wrath by erecting his tall looking memorial obelisk
With four lions at its base but just six paws with two missing no doubt
By some error of judgment following the very great rout
Occurring when the Battle of Pots and the Pans was won
With barely a sound from a Georgie’s rifle or gun
The rest being cowardly dragoons who took to horse pronto and fled
Up Johnnie Cope’s Way and straight home to their bed ...

[Laureate et al]