Passing the Bricks and Mortar ... is MacGonagall our last hope?

Surprising What makes a Winner for William Topaz McGonagall

It's clear from the pictures above that William Topaz McGonagall had a difficult time deciding the winner for the Very Worst Poetry on the Theme: The Ruin of Auld Fowlers. Most of course thought the discourse would touch upon the saga of the Auld HQ, but not so Family Williams. Their Auntie Gena was ruined by the beverage she both helped Mr Fowler to brew and also consumed aplenty. With the aid of niece Tami [standing] from the University of Wisconsin [we get flung afar we Panners these days] the family's immortal winning words were:



OOR AUNTIE GENA

Oor Auntie Gena
Was ayeways droory
Becuase she worked at Fowler's Brewery

She worked all day fi’ six to nine
And the rest o’ the day she smoked the woodbine.
When the ice-cream man came round the door
She had a slider and two fags more.

She didny drink whiskey
She’s no that sort
Ma Auntie Gena just loved the port

She loved Woodbine & port & that’s nae joke.
At the end o the day
The hoose was reckin’ wi’ smoke.

Night after night, she didny get much sleep
Because the hoose was full o’ reek.
She’d ayeways wake up feelin’ poorly
But she’s ayeways be back at Fowler’s brewery.

Under the bed thur’s crates o’ beer
And we still toast t'er every New Year

[Tami Williams with Valerie Georgina Fee Williams and David Ulke]

Eating Backwards with The Muse

As McGonagall afficionadoes well know, The Muse is worst if you dine in reverse ... apple crumble and chocolate cake followed by curry with ample rice and then a fine soup. Few of the 40+ poets attending, who together created more than a score of bad poems to be published separately soon, reached the soup. But amongst those who did a competition was conducted to evaluate the 'Best and the Worst SoupEaters'. The Worst is shown first below, being the Arts Festival Convenor Dr Andrew Crummy, the Best is shown second, Annette Gilroy, a former Director of the famed and remembered local Wiles Bus Company.



Runners up included Carole Melrose, twice winner of arts awards from the Festival as Lord Novar Bursary 2006/ 2008 and Sir John Ross Fellow 2008/2009.



...... to be continued .. more bad poetry .. and more about the Auld Fowler's HQ ...