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Ruin of Auld Fowler's HQ: McGonagall's Runner Up and 24 more

Second Only to Oor Auntie Gena

The final collection of McGonagall Bad Poetry is now available for the critical eye to peruse here.

The Runner-Up to Oor Auntie Gena was from Ken Wilson and is given below. As afficionadoes will see, he holds loyally to the McGongall genre whereas most of the rest do not!

The Ruin of Auld Flower's is very great indeed
For confusion this example can’t be beat
In garden or park…
In sunshine or night times’ infinitessimal, inky, incredibly dark
It’s an act of vandalism, it’s a horrible horticultural fate.
Blooms are usually thought to be great.

Proof readers among you will no doubt have spotted
The transposition of letters that have been carelessly & ridiculously mis-allotted.
My co’ of the Scots Dictionary (concise)
Records no ‘fowlers’ which isn’t very nice.
I look at my Oxford English version
I often enjoy this harmless diversion.

Could it be Fowler the lexicographer?
I’ll ask my pal Gillian ‘cos I always get good advice off of her
If it’s crabbit birdie hunters they should find a more pleasing hobby
Someone may have to do it but it’s a nasty sounding jobby.
What harm did flying creatures do when nesting on hills, trees or beaches
Auld fowlers your time’s up, we know where you live.
All the bird lovers are really miffed
And seagull, corbie, shag, sparrow and cock robin,
Will no more be bullet-dodgin’

Our table of poets, McGonagall fans all
For our fine feathered friends we all hold a candle
Auld fowlers your time’s up
You really are a foul and beastly crop.

Oops I have made a right royal gaffe
I’ve just been told the Fowler’s is beer on draught
The ruin refers to the Auld HQ
That Lidl’s want to knock down and build anew.
What can I say, I’m from out of town
My wrong end of the stick has made you frown.
Best of luck for your arts centre campaign
What’ll be that conglomerate's loss (I hope) will be your gain.


... and 24 more for your delectation are linked here ....

Published Date: August 8th 2008

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